Your Politics In My Peanut Butter (Stop It, Tumblr)

There is something that has been grinding my gears for the past several years. I’ve noticed it. My family has noticed it. My friends have noticed it. I feel like most people have noticed it.

There are memes dedicated to poking fun of this issue. South Park introduced a brand-new character to poke fun of this issue. Comedians and actors have gotten reamed on social media for not treading lightly around this issue.

What issue?

Why, Tumblr’s extreme SJW culture, of course! Otherwise known as the intense wave of political correctness that has taken over people’s lives since late-2015 and early-2016.

Love him or hate him, but there are at least a few PC Principals on your timeline everyday. And if there is not, then that PC Principal just may be you :’(

“What is Tumblr?” you might find yourself asking, gentle reader? Tumblr is the current generation’s own special version of 4Chan, where literally anything and everything can be posted for public consumption. (Side note: Is 4Chan even still a thing…?) Essentially, it is a place where the “oppressed” find way to oppress themselves even further.

Note that while these people are mainly found on Tumblr, you can also find them on any social media website and in any public arena.

“Look! An adorable picture of a dog!” the Tumblrites cry, rubbing their hands together with glee. “Let’s find a way to make it about animal abuse!”

“Wow. You are a shitty person for laughing at this. I’m glad to know that you support the genocide and slaughter of all animals! How DARE you call yourself an animal lover!” — An actual comment left on my Facebook profile when I nonchalantly shared this video a few months back.

The main issue is that the extreme SJW crowd tends to scream their views and opinions the loudest, so now many people entering their mid-thirties and above associate all Millennials as Tumblrites. Memes mocking millennials have been born from the older generations’ stereotypes of how all millennials act and think thanks to those who go around SJWing on the Internet.

“Do you see this fridge? Do you see this perfectly innocent fridge? It says ‘negro’ on the box! I never took Spanish, so I’m going to assume that this is a racist refrigerator. If I use this refrigerator, it will hide a noose in my almond milk and choke me from the inside out.”

Somewhere in the distance, Hitler whispers from the skies, “Praise Aryan Jesus!”

“Do you see this couple? Do you see this seemingly happy couple? Well, they’re not a happy couple because half of the couple is male! And since all men are evil, the woman in the picture is probably being abused.”

#NotAllMen

Here’s one that my friends who identify as bisexual get all of the time… “Do you see this girl? Do you see this girl who claims to be bisexual? Well, she’s dating a MAN and they are even using aphrodisiac products that increase libido in men, so she’s a hetero liar!”

Those who support bi-erasure need to take a children’s Latin course and learn the definition of the root word “bi”. They should then think logically about what “bisexual” means.

One year later… “Do you see this girl? Do you see this girl who still claims to be bisexual but is now with a woman? Oh, honey, cut out that ‘I’m bi’, crap! You know you’re a lesbian!”

No bisexuals allowed! Even though our acronym is “LGBT”!

So…what does the “B” stand for then?

How about, Tumblr Is Bullshit? 🙂

From 2009–2014, Tumblr is where I went for the latest memes and updates on my favourite bands. Apparently in 2018, all bands have a hidden agenda and/or are rapists, so the band tags are filled with hatred and bickering…or just people spamming photos of the band’s lead singer with the caption “DADDYYYYYYY!!”

I’m not going to lie and said that I’ve never referred to Brandon Boyd or Jared Leto as “Daddy” in a conversation amongst friends. But since Incubus’s lyrics are “hippie bullshit” and 30 Seconds To Mars uses religious imagery, I guess this means that I can’t listen to their music anymore 🙁

JARED: “Hold my fedora; those SJWs said what about me??” // BRANDON: “I’ll take my shirt off if that helps.”

I also greatly enjoy memes. I have recently learned that my love of memes means that I either don’t care about society or am secretly suicidal. Seriously. These things have both been said to me by people who are completely serious.

Please note again that this is not a political article. There are liberal Tumblrites. There are conservative Tumblrites. There are Democrat Tumblrites. There are Republican Tumblrites. The virus to become a Tumblrite is an equal-opportunity offender, boys and girls, so try not to breathe in the bullshit.

This is why I’m a Centrist and don’t subscribe to Tumblr politics. Because I’m sane.

The over-sensitivities on both sides need to stop, y’all. It’s time to retire the attacks and pure cattiness that have been spreading across social media since early 2016. If someone’s gender preference or hairstyle or religion or diet bothers you, then you need to find a hobby and find a way to calm your inner demons.

“But, Angie! You just said not to be catty! And here you are assuming that all SJWs aren’t calm people.”

“Something something Taylor Swift. Something something Kim Kardashian.”

No assumptions have been made here, gentle reader. All of the SJWs that I’ve come across are some of the most stressed and unhappy individuals that I have ever seen. Their days are spent arguing over trivial details with complete strangers. Their mission to “fix the world” is causing them inner turmoil and grief.

They aren’t happy! Most will admit that they aren’t happy. Quite frankly, it is impossible to be happy when constantly looking for the next opinion to belittle. It keeps your adrenaline flowing constantly and jars your body throughout the day.

Try spending a day meditating, rather than unleashing your inner Tanisha 24/7.

Trust me, a little namaste never hurt anyone. If you agree, be sure to leave a comment down below letting me know where the bad Tumblrite touched you 🙂

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